Post Two: Definition of a Gift aka 'The Great Furniture Saga'

Gift - A gift or a present is an object given without the expectation of payment.

Loan - Something lent for temporary use; a sum of money lent at interest; a grant for temporary use eg. she asked for the loan of a garden hose.

Over the years My Mother has given us/me things. These things included some furniture. We always said thank you.

Not once has My Mother ever said to me, "Can you mind this piece of furniture for me while we move interstate/move house. I will expect you to look after it for me (for up to 17 years) and at any time, I can ask for it back".

I would have said, 'No Thanks'.

However, I can itemise everything she has given us over the years, mainly because she has always reminded us of the 'gift' on a fairly regular basis. That was a red flag I missed as that behaviour and attitude was part of my 'normal'.

They were never gifts in the first place. 'Giving' us stuff was a double whammy: a gesture to let us know we needed her cast-offs, while simultaneously allowing her to appear generous and helpful. At what point does a gift become a 'lend' in the mind of the lender? 

She is saying I sold 'her' furniture. 

I sold: a day bed ($110) and a hallstand ($135).

The day bed: given to us when they left Sydney (and it did not fit in the new house). We transported it to QLD when we moved. It was sold because it was in the way on the verandah and, after I found a brown snake under a cushion, I didn't feel good about plonking my butt on it. In short, it no longer suited our needs and did not suit our new house.

The hallstand: given to us after we helped renovate their flat on the GC (and it could not fit in the flat). We need bookcases and, with limited wall space (too many windows), sold the hallstand to make room. In short, it no longer suited our needs and did not suit our house.

With the $245 we bought two bookcases, with doors, that are very useful. Put me in gaol if the above is a crime. 

And 'no', we are not giving back every 'gift' we have been 'given' over the years. If she had her way I would be giving her my very life. Because I owe her. She told me so. She even said the stopped 'calculating the compound interest' on the cost of bringing me up at $500k.

And it should be noted, we never asked for any of it! 

And in comparison to the debt they have left us in, they can go take a flying F#%@